Fifty Secret Shades Of Loraine Gray

This is a work of complete fiction, not to be confused with any form of spectacularly successful fan fiction or any other parodies. Names, places, characters and incidents are solely the product of the author's imagination and/or are used fictitiously, although satirical reference may be made to certain existing locations, including the planet Earth itself. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or undead, fictional or otherwise, business establishments, events or even locales is entirely coincidental.
In reality, a perpetually damp city named Seattle probably doesn't even exist. At least, not to this young author's knowledge.